"In high school I used to write my love notes backwards, so she'd have to flip the paper upside-down to read it. Either that or read it in a mirror, so she can see herself as I see her, and see why I admire her."
"I'm hanging on to her memory like Spanish moss on an ancient Florida oak, and unlike the sunset, my love won't fade."
"You don’t need to have a fight before great sex. I can keep my cool and still bring the heat every time."
"Hotel hallways should have conveyer belts for floors, so I can feel like a grocery item on vacation. I guess I’m just a romantic."
"Why aren’t red traffic lights heart-shaped? Probably because it’s not like rush hour can get any more romantic."
"Some men have actually died from laughing. That's so funny I fear for my own life."