#relationships

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"When you loved someone and had to let them go, there will always be that small part of yourself that whispers, "What was it that you wanted and why didn't you fight for it?"

"Can officially confirm that the way to a man's heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him."

"The Phenomenon of Life {Couplet} The potter's some man of clay who's molding clay,a robot making an automaton;Every day we recreate ourselves from what bricks we're made,how wondrous life's phenomenon!"

"Missed Childhood [10w] + {Couplet} Adolescence spent upon a cross,regrettably is childhood's loss."

"Rebellious Fish [10w] Sometimes swimming against the current turns you into glazed salmon."

"If you do not respect your own wishes, no one else will. You will simply attract people who disrespect you as much as you do."

"A woman can become a man's friend only in the following stages - first an acquantaince, next a mistress, and only then a friend."

"We made love like flamingoes are pink. You know what else was pink? My cheeks, because I was so embarrassed when I found out that she was the wrong woman."

"Irish-Gaelic Wife-Fooking Proverb The truth can't be concealedI fooked your Caitlin from behind,because you can never plow a field by just turning it over in your mind.By the way, Caitlin's last words, before sucking me cock, were"Me husband's balls smells like ballyblue cheese, ahhhhhh, Éirinn go Brách!"

"Your Poem A poem is a waking dream.If your poem is shit,then it was a fucking nightmare."

"Love and Death [10w] A person who lives without love chooses death by default."

"I can see that the sadness has returned. And it's not a beautiful sadness- beautiful sadness is a myth. Sadness turns our features to clay, not porcelain."

"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."

"Combine a fog machine and a cotton candy maker to create delicious mystery. This is the heart of romance."

"Who is Fortunate? [10w] Who is fortunate?He who measures his fortune in friends."

"We must make love to find out how it’s made. I don’t know what the ingredients are, but I think we can make a batch or two by morning."

"Be careful whom you choose to love. This decision will impact your future life and happiness in ways you cannot yet imagine."

"She has a body for years, and I have an astronaut tan. When we make love it will be like (x + 2)(2x -1) = 0, solve for x."

"Misfortune Misfortune is but a stepping stone to great fortune ~especially if your slip and fall was possibly caused by negligenceand you get yourself a good Jew lawyer to sue the parties responsible."