#relationships

"A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along."

"Metamorphosis [10w] Change. Become the butterfly.Don't stay a caterpillar with wings."

"Self-Help I asked the bookseller,'Do you have any self-help books for addiction?'He said,'If I tell you, I'd be enabling you."

"Prayer [10w] Despite God's grace, prayer is not a wish granting well."

"Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life."

"I knocked on her door twice. The second time was from the inside. That’s how love works. At first you want in, and then you want out."

"Pussy Whipped I was pussy whipped with four lashes.It was a helluva threesome ~but I still can't get the damn mascara off my one-eyed snake."

"I said I made a special trip to get her favorite item, because it sounded more romantic than admitting I randomly had it already. Now that’s love."

"Hermit Crab Should a hermit crab be required to have a real estate license?"

"McDonald's I love and rescue stray dogs, duct tape Burger King crowns to their heads and set them loose in McDonald's."

"A kangaroo would jump better if instead of legs, it had a trampoline under its torso. And there would be no depression, because it would bounce right back."

"Angels walk amongst those with broken wings. Those with broken wings only need to be given a little love before their hearts can flutter and take flight once again.-Amanda Mosher and Jarod Kintz"

"Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed."

"Suicide It's ironic that suicide, an act of cowardice,requires you overcome the all powerful instinct of self-preservation ~and thereby it's transformed into an act of bravery.On the other hand, the survivors would argue, an act of stupidity ~which many acts of bravery ultimately are."

"Love is supposed to be based on trust, and trust on love, it's something rare and beautiful when people can confide in each other without fearing what the other person will think."

"Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other's achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain."

"When you walk a life of honesty, you live a life of truth."

"Ringtones Haiku 'Oy! Dai, da-ye-nu,Dai, da-ye-nu, Dai, da-ye-nu...'"Answer your fucking phone!"

"I love firm hugs. Statues are so affectionate. Well, at least compared to my ex wife."

"No That's Bad Aim Shoot!That ass clown couldn't hit the broad side of a barnwith the smart photon torpedohe lifted from Area 51."