"In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing."
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream."
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce."
"The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell together, as quickly as possible."
"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"