When red-headed people are above a certain social grade thei... - Mark Twain

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

"Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge."

"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar."