When red-headed people are above a certain social grade thei... - Mark Twain

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

"A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows."

"It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech."

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."