I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I... - Mark Twain

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also."

"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's."

"Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary."

"Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven."