"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."
"My vacation wasn’t long enough—and neither was my penis. Two weeks is just too short to satisfy one woman all night long."
"Nothing carries meaning. People carry meaning. We are the porters of importance."
"I’ve spent a lifetime learning to love—the lifetime of a chameleon. But hey, I’ve learned a lot in the last year, though you couldn’t tell because I camouflage my feelings."
"I'm about to get my grind on. My coffee grind. Like a true hustler."
"An empty coffee cup is full of hope. Now there’s something worth voting for."