"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."
"I drank her essence, and it’s like she never existed and now I’m thirsty again. Let this be a lesson in love."
"You are not your body. You are the sum of all your actions, and they live on after your body dies. You may be mortal, but your brand is eternal."
"The roses of romance grow when you water your relationship with gratitude. Love will bloom and blossom when you recognize the awesome."
"When I was young, I was 13 going on 31. Then when I was 30 going on 31, I was 30 going on 29. Now I’m in love and I’ve lost all sense of time—and all the rest of my sense."
"Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only."