More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She looked so sexy with her sixteen cats that I just had to swipe right, but when she messaged me first quoting Monty Python, I knew it was Tinder love. Maybe on the first date we’ll knit the blanket we’ll make love under."
"I have a doctorate degree from the School of Hard Knocks. I studied door-to-door salesmanship. This was before the doorbell was invented."
"Prophesies are dark and don’t need a flashlight to illuminate. I’m a bring my own lighthouse kind of lover."
"Last time I had sex I was so good I got a standing ovation. Well, actually, I just got the clap."
"I restrain myself from following orders—especially restraining orders. I’d like to remind my dad that my love is longer than 500 feet."