"Midnight is Hellen-Kelleresque, so if you ask me if I’m seeing anybody, I’ll ask you what time it is. Answers are always between 12:01 AM to 11:59 PM."
"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"
"White letters plus white paper equals invisibility. Just because you can’t see my love for you, doesn’t mean I didn’t write about it."
"Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser. Some trees live to be hundreds of years old, and what the fuck do they know?"
"Instead of reciting her an original love poem using words, I think I’ll use my tongue to more creatively explore the deepest parts of her."
"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."