More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My hands could be considered deadly weapons. You see, I write with both of them."
"Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work, but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go."
"I think a funny picture would have a caption that read, “Believe in yourself,” with an accompanying image of a wilting flower."
"Do you know how much laughter is in a single bag of chips? Enough to feed a seriously starved midget for a week. Now with 33.3% reduced fat!"
"I'm sober. Yessiree, I quit drinking. I haven't had a beer in four hours. Now I just need some coffee and to get drunk on love poetry."