More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman."
"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."
"If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?"
"I feel robbing a bank would be the highest form of performance art. No need to pay to see me work. The Federal Reserve is subsidizing it."
"A chance meeting in a Kansas City coffee shop may take me months of planning and twice a day visits for over a year. But I already have my stunned, surprised, and shocked speech rehearsed for the moment I act like I had no idea she would be there."