More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs)."
"Every guy says he's not like every guy, thus proving he is like every guy. Show me a guy who's different, and I'll tell you to stop pointing at me."
"With eyes closed, a kiss is genderless. Now that mustaches are in fashion, some women are finding more hipster love."
"I grew a garden in her heart. There was plenty of space for flowers, because her heart was completely empty of love."
"Before the NSA there was the Catholic Church. What is confessional if not a place to gather secrets? No wonder the church had all the power."