My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in lo... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special."

"She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway."

"During my darkest hour, life threw me some curves. Thankfully they were in the shape of a woman’s body."

"Let us embrace each other like we have the arms of two chairs. Let us dance like our legs are those of a table. We should do dinner sometime."

"She looked, but she couldn’t see. She was wearing an emotional blindfold, and though she heard me say I love you, she just didn’t listen."