More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I was so depressed I thought about committing TV. I mean suicide. In the end I decided to binge on @Netflix and it really made me feel better."
"When you’re embarrassed, you turn red. When I blush, I turn plaid. I network at kilt conventions, so even if I say something awkward I still look cool."
"Let’s be romantic and dance in the rain. I’ll prove my feelings for you by bringing an umbrella, because I’m drowning in my love for you."
"0 plus 100 equals 100. But so does 50 plus 50, only with more balance. Let this be a lesson in love."
"She was a tall drink of water from Tallahassee, and I was an instant-coffee kind of lover. I got her so hot that neither one of could go to sleep until the ambulance finally came to a complete stop."