More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Now that I’m 33.3 years old, the days of blue and green are behind me. I have left the earthy and entered into the purple phase of my life."
"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale."
"If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now."But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast."
"I'm asexual, though occasionally I'm attracted to inanimate objects. Mainly tube-shaped objects."
"I just sprayed cologne on my hand and then pet the back of my cat's head while he slept, and he woke up so confused, trying to sniff behind his neck and all around wondering what sweet attack he was under."