I was so depressed I thought about committing TV. I mean sui... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The sides of buildings should be like the tops of lakes. I’d fish through your window hoping to catch a smile."

"Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and green. There’s no depression or envy when both blur into one."

"I walked to work. I paced up and down the bus looking for a seat. Next time I walk to work I’m getting on my treadmill."

"I want to start a business making mint-flavored sunshine that comes in a can half full of meow-free rainbows. (Leprechauns sold separately.)"

"Let me just pause a minute and drink in this moment. And if you film it, I’ll be able to get free refills for life."