"My ex-girlfriend was exquisite, while my current girlfriend is merely quisite. The ex always makes the past seem more excellent than the present."
"If a company won't hire you, why don't you start your own company? Steve Jobs created jobs, he didn't apply for them. #Startup your dreams."
"The business of business is people, not products or services. Take care of the people, and the people will take care of you."
"I just bought some cargo pants, so I can deliver goods at the speed of a walk. It’s an environmentally friendly #startup."
"A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two—plus one."
"I slept through the award presentation for Napper of the Year. They had to wake me when I won. Winning was like a dream come true."