More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I belong, and my penis, it be long."
"I used to gorge on gorgeous women, but now I look for things that can’t be seen with the eyes, but are only detected by the heart. This is love."
"The word very will vary in muchiness. I love you very much, and that won’t vary from day to day."
"Leadership is being the first to put others second. Wait, that’s not right. That’s politics."
"Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only."