More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?"
"I am the coffee, and God is The Barista. Through me, he may awaken your soul. But the coffee knows not what flows through the mind of The Barista."
"I said I made a special trip to get her favorite item, because it sounded more romantic than admitting I randomly had it already. Now that’s love."
"A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman."
"When anybody asks me what time it is, I always say, “Yesterday, plus 24 hours."