More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I sleep when I blink. I dream like I love—continuously."
"My shadow follows me during the day, and then surrounds me at night as it clones itself into complete darkness. Now that’s self-love."
"The best part about being a writer is being able to communicate with people without moving my lips. The mouth is better used for kissing."
"Microwavable ice cream is the future. Don’t wait for love to melt all over your crotch. Scoop some Ice Cream Soup today."
"I’m a natural salesman. I sold my soul to the devil. I’m so shrewd that I got pennies on the dollar for it. Ha! Wait, a buyer who gets pennies on the dollar is the clever one in the deal. Damn it! Lucifer tricked me!"