More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Anything disguised as anything is chameleon. A ghost disguised as an unobservable and invisible object is a great example. Still, that’s easier to see than the love my ex wife had for me."
"I called his broken promise heartbreaking, and he called it growing up. Oh, that’s mature—blame it on maturity."
"I wrote a thesis on love, and I wrote it in lipstick. Of course, I also got blood on the paper, because the lipstick was still attached to her cheating lips."
"Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thing,” as I point with my pointy finger."
"The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt."