"A flowing flurry of flowers fell to the floor when I fell in love, as if my heart were a garden that gushed forth and flooded her being with the fragrance of romance."
"I used the boos, and not the booze, as motivation. That led to applause, which I drank up like an alcoholic. I need a refill."
"Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time."
"It was a cold night, so I got a fire going. I lit a scented candle."
"I’ll write the first sentence in English and the second sentence will be nonsense translated to Russian, to make the ultimate non sequitur."
"This Valentine’s Day rent a poem for your loved. They come in three sizes—small, medium, and romantic. Free refills available to Premium Members."