Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, tha... - Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

"Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt"

"After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much."

"You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt"

"I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity."

"I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja."