Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He... - Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

"I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja."

"You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt"

"After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much."

"Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, thatreason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe."

"I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels."