I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to... - Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

"Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt"

"You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt"

"Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, thatreason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe."

"I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels."

"I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity."