"Opportunity is not your opponent—it is your ally, but it’s hard to see that because opportunity is often camouflaged and hidden among danger and chaos."
"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."
"Personal branding is crucial in today's society. Just remember to wait until the metal is red hot before pressing it into your flesh."
"During my darkest hour, life threw me some curves. Thankfully they were in the shape of a woman’s body."
"Love may make you feel blue, love may make you feel green, and sometimes love may even make you feel turquoise or teal. Depression and envy get all the pretty shades of description, and I love that, but in a pink/purple kind of way."
"A squeegee is a sponge on a stick, and if there is a tangible item that’s more romantic, I don’t know what it is. Never go on a first date without one."