More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When it’s raining, instead of using an umbrella, try holding an empty drinking glass above your head. That’s exactly how I thirst for your love."
"Necessity may be the mother of invention, but who is the father? Don’t look at me! I wore a condom."
"I remember her words about remembering my words, and that’s when it hit me: the quickest way to scalpel open a heart is with a declaration of love."
"The pink sunset reminds me of her, and the calm water matches the calm that images of her bring to my heart."
"What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two."