More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"It's a fact that men make more money than women. That's why I became a man. Best decision of my life."
"I wish I could grow swords like I can roses. Wouldn’t war be so romantic then? Then the U.S. could really show the world how much it loves it."
"If there’s gold in it, then the mine is mine. And if there’s no coffee in it, then the cup is yours."
"I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills."
"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."