More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When she tried to seduce me, I got suspicious, thinking she was just after my massive fortune. Then I relaxed, when I remembered I'm poor."
"My hands will get dirty holding your rose-shaped heart, because love is like gardening—it’s earthy and takes work to keep it alive."
"You can use your mouth to speak the words I love you, or you can use your mouth to kiss me and transport love from your mind to my heart."
"Some men have actually died from laughing. That's so funny I fear for my own life."
"There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99."