More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When she tried to seduce me, I got suspicious, thinking she was just after my massive fortune. Then I relaxed, when I remembered I'm poor."
"I had eggs for breakfast. I ate them off the hood of a politician’s car, after I threw them there."
"Love is a tomato. And while it's true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup."
"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."
"The heart sees what the eyes do not, and the heart hears what the ears cannot. Sight and sound are vibrations, and so is love."