More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

"Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out."
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps."
"Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion."
"Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic."