Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his i... - Ambrose Bierce

"In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office."

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."

"Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic."

"Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable."

"Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art."