Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his i... - Ambrose Bierce

"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding."

"Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art."

"Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic."

"Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of."

"In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office."