Ambrose Bierce

"In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office."

"Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows."

"Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable."

"You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps."

"The covers of this book are too far apart."

"Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic."

"Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of."

"Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art."

"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding."

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."

"The covers of this book are too far apart."

"Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out."

"Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion."

"Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success."