More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Anything disguised as anything is chameleon. A ghost disguised as an unobservable and invisible object is a great example. Still, that’s easier to see than the love my ex wife had for me."
"If you’re going to hang around and watch me write, you might as well have a noose around your neck. Would you mind if I kicked the chair out from under your feet? You’re standing on my only place to sit."
"I dance so fluid you’d think I’m a fish. I don’t need to drink to be able to dance—I am the drink. Have a sip and find out for yourself."
"I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight."
"Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries."