Some men have actually died from laughing. That's so funny I... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I just bought a bag of poetry, but it was mostly air. The author must have learned from the potato chip industry."

"I make love like I make coffins—with my bare hands, alone in my garage. On sale through Thursday—Buy One Funeral, Get A Second One Free!"

"A stick won’t stick to a wall, so why is it called a stick? Likewise, why aren’t love and ghost the same word? Both are dead and invisible."

"Entrepreneurs adopt the ways of the adept and adapt to a changing environment. Actually, entrepreneurs are more enterpreneurs, because they are forever entering into new territory."

"I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are."