"A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two—plus one."
"A lollygagger is a person choking on a lollipop. That works perfectly, because I sell Heimlich Maneuvers in a variety of flavors."
"Let us embrace each other like we have the arms of two chairs. Let us dance like our legs are those of a table. We should do dinner sometime."
"To get people to notice you, you must be unique. If I were invisible, everybody would see me for who I am as a person."
"I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home."
"The sunset sky fades from blue to orange over Gainesville, Florida, and what I lost is less than what I gained. I gained love, I lost love, and if could do it all again, I would."