When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and... - Mark Twain

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been."

"Familiarity breeds contempt and children."

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."

"A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat."