I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a lon... - Mark Twain

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."

"Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven."

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

"Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident."