I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a lon... - Mark Twain

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know."

"What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey."

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."