"Tennis is the only sport with love in the score, and that makes it the most romantic. I would be a player, but I wisely use the net to go fishing instead."
"We made love like flamingoes are pink. You know what else was pink? My cheeks, because I was so embarrassed when I found out that she was the wrong woman."
"To be invisible, paint yourself with the direct shade of zero. Leave nothing to chance, by taking nothing with you wherever you go."
"I spoke like a spoke on a wheel, as I went around and around without actually saying what I wanted to say. I was love flustered."
"A woman I had sex with is carrying my child, because God has made it so that my hands are full. They’re full of hope for the future."
"Love is 60% water, because a human being, the essence of love, is 60% water. But that’s the other 40% made up of? Easy—mint green tea and honey."