More quotes by David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

"If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever."
"I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally."
"At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me."
"The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate."
"but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment."