More quotes by David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

"If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever."
"but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment."
"At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me."
"Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character."
"The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate."