More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If I were hairy, would you vacuum my chest before we made love? I’d probably have enough chip crumbs in it to feed the homeless, because I’m a charitable kind of guy."
"A sofa on an elevator would be like a slow roller coaster where you get to work on your small talk skills. Oh yes, I am an adrenaline junky."
"My past is black and my future is blank. My only canvas is the present. The best color to paint with is love."
"If I could store any character quality in a cookie jar, I’d store patience. Chocolate-chip patience cookies. And I’d eat them all at one sitting."
"Meatloaf is meatloaf is not a true statement. You can have gravy on top, ketchup on top, and don’t forget you can also have love on top--however, you must understand that I would do anything, but I won’t do that."