New streets should be Twitter friendly and be named with has... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."

"In high school I used to write my love notes backwards, so she'd have to flip the paper upside-down to read it. Either that or read it in a mirror, so she can see herself as I see her, and see why I admire her."

"Dinner was a riot, but the food was bland, so I doused it with pepper spray. The chef wanted to protest, but he didn’t, because I had the pepper spray."

"Quicksand is nature’s way of saying slow down. Me pushing you in quicksand is my way of saying be still and let me love you. Isn’t it funny how a lasso looks like a noose?"

"People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?"