More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me."
"I asked for info, and he offered it for a price. Now I’m selling him my security services, and if he doesn’t pay me, I’m going to give him a karate lesson—for free."
"I have a doctorate degree from the School of Hard Knocks. I studied door-to-door salesmanship. This was before the doorbell was invented."
"I wish I could grow swords like I can roses. Wouldn’t war be so romantic then? Then the U.S. could really show the world how much it loves it."
"If anybody is looking to rent a dancing partner for an evening, I have one left in stock. That one is me, and I am on sale ‘til Tuesday at two."