More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She said love her or be tortured by her. I replied, "Torture would be less painful."She didn't realize that I'm a true romantic."
"I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did I know? I was high on glue and in the third grade, just like grandpa."
"I am so extreme that I do parkour like a caterpillar gyrates. My movements are slow and methodical, but eventually my free running takes flight. I love the same exact way, and my romance has the essence of a butterfly."
"I don’t want to develop—I want to evelop, because it’s more positive. Similarly, would you rather your love evolve or devolve? That’s why if you need me, I’ll be on the sofa trying to evelop myself as a person."
"A stick won’t stick to a wall, so why is it called a stick? Likewise, why aren’t love and ghost the same word? Both are dead and invisible."