More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

"I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things."
"You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled."
"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is."
"I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that."
"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."