"This Valentine’s Day rent a poem for your loved. They come in three sizes—small, medium, and romantic. Free refills available to Premium Members."
"A squeegee is a sponge on a stick, and if there is a tangible item that’s more romantic, I don’t know what it is. Never go on a first date without one."
"To wait on love is to tie a weight on your heart and slowly drown. Why sink when you can fly by freely giving love away?"
"The world is a sad place today. I miss the good ol’ days. Gosh, why can’t I just go back to last weekend?"
"Together kabobs make the world better than all the Bobs combined. Well, at least ever since Bob Ross moved on to the land of the happy trees."
"Wherever there’s a gathering of people, there is networking going on. My favorite place to network is the cemetery."