More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If you were to ask me what’s under my bed, I’d tell you shoes. They’re brown, and they’re still attached to the body that’s been decomposing there since I hid it three days ago."
"Her dancing inspires me to move. I used to be like a statue, and now I am more like a mannequin. So much more fashionable, you know?"
"I want to be the founder of a #startup app called Quid Pro Squid. No idea what it will do, but if I can get enough users, VC money will flow."
"Now that I’m 33.3 years old, the days of blue and green are behind me. I have left the earthy and entered into the purple phase of my life."
"String several words together in a sentence and you have a language necklace. My I love you would look great with your favorite red dress."