More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."
"I went to a potluck. I brought my own pot—and luck. The pot was empty, just like my promise to bring food the next time."
"Why pay for an undesirable outcome with someone else? For the same money, you could have paid me to stay at home and do nothing."
"In these modern times, the only sensible thing to be is nonsensical."
"I network like a salmon in a bear costume. Why swim upstream when the honeybee has all the flowers? Is anything more romantic than roses on a grave?"