To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You c... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I make furniture that can be used as weapons. The most dangerous piece of furniture is the Loveseat."
"I’ll bet opening a store called Boobs and Books would increase literacy. I prefer a hands-on approach to learning."
"The words I love you form an oral floral phrase that's so fragrant it can overpower even the most flagrantly foul-mouthed utterance."
"Her and I, we passed each other, and now she’s in my past. That’s one present I’d like to unwrap in the future."
"A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman."