"My acquaintances aren’t worth the aqua I drink after they leave me thirsting for something more meaningful. I don’t want refillable relationships—I want connections so deep they are black abysses."
"Every guy says he's not like every guy, thus proving he is like every guy. Show me a guy who's different, and I'll tell you to stop pointing at me."
"I don’t remember my birth. I guess I got dementia at a young age."
"I am restless when I rest. I sleep like I’m engaged in an invisible wrestling match. Naturally, I almost always win."
"I was in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky. I would have held up my index finger, but I wasn't in love that long."
"If I could convert books to wine, I’d start with The Grapes of Wrath. I’ve never read it, but maybe tonight I’ll be thirsty enough."