More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I like knocking on strangers’ doors, and when they answer and say hello, I respond, “I have returned, as prophesied.” Then I just stand there staring at them."
"I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight."
"Let me just pause a minute and drink in this moment. And if you film it, I’ll be able to get free refills for life."
"My feet are dense with dance. I move like I’m wearing concrete boots and I’m trying to tread water. If the music is salsa, I may start gargling."
"My acquaintances aren’t worth the aqua I drink after they leave me thirsting for something more meaningful. I don’t want refillable relationships—I want connections so deep they are black abysses."