More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"A love story in six words: Hello. Goodbye. In between was marriage."
"A flowing flurry of flowers fell to the floor when I fell in love, as if my heart were a garden that gushed forth and flooded her being with the fragrance of romance."
"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."
"I want to create a 3-4 deal—buy three for the price of four. Offer valid for any product but love, which is one for the price of two only."
"For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were."